Sex and Breastfeeding

This weekend I was discussing nursing with friends and sex came up in the discussion.  I found it odd that some women have to stop nursing because their partner has an issue with it, as it relates to the bedroom.  So glad that has never been an issue for me.  After the discussion I got online and came across two breastfeeding headlines that are on totally opposite sides of the fence.  First, a dad writes an article venting about how seeing his wife nurse their 5 year old son turns him off sexually.  (See article here)

On the other hand, another father says that latching on and nursing during sex has cured his erection problems.  (See video here)

What are you thoughts?  Have you ever had this discussion with friends?  Has breastfeeding ever been an issue positive or negative in the bedroom?

Teach Me How to Dougie Cover/Parody

Had to post this, saw it several times in my facebook newsfeed, shot to every effort to promote breastfeeding!

More Breastfeeding Hip Hop!

So I ran into another breastfeeding Hip Hop anthem :-) Tell me what you think, cool or corny?  I am always happy to see educational material permeated in music whether its US history, Algebra or health related.  But I always wonder, would you bump this in your car?

Breastfeed Ya' Baby

Saw this online and just had to share!  How cute is that?

Are there other cute Hip Hop Breastfeeding videos out there? Please share!

Racism and Breastfeeding (See Update)

This weekend I saw an image on my facecbook newsfeed.  The image is below.  The image was accompanied by this caption:

"Wow, what a fascinating photograph. I remember my grandmother telling me about her wet nurse. Back in the day, if a woman couldn't nurse ( or simply didn't want to because of their social class ) there would be another woman around who could and would. What do you think about wet nurses? I say- let's bring 'em back! I would nurse a hungry baby that was not my own in a second.

Nurse and Child, USA, ca. 1850.

Source: Getty Museum"

How anyone could post an image like this without addressing the historical impact of slavery and the obvious oppression is beyond me.  Call it ignorance if you want, but I believe that for many the choice to remain ignorant comes from the privileges afforded from racial oppression.

Bring wet nurses back?  I cannot imagine a system in today's society that would allow for the profession of wet nurses to exist without extreme exploitation of women.  On top of that, if it were to resurface as an option, it would only be for women of the upper classes, and would again exploit and demean women of color.  No!  Can't see it!

Thankfully some people recognized that this image wasn't just about breastfeeding, but many comments from people displayed a lack of concern for the historical implications of this photo, and that is why I leave you with this next image: NEVER FORGET!

Update Friday July 13, 2012:  I asked "The Skeptical Mother" why she hadn't responded to all the comments on her photo, she sent me a private message stating that she deleted the photo because of all the ignorant comments.  

(Summary, the photo was posted in May, lots of white women loved the photo, commenting how great it was that this woman gave the child such a gift, etc, etc, etc.  Somewhere along the line, the photo was shared with black women and in June a lot of black women commented on how offensive it was.  All got quiet!  A few white folks stood up to support black women, then it was deleted) 

She then posted this next photo with the following caption:

The Skeptical Mother

A month or so ago, I posted a photo of a baby with her wet nurse. I'm ashamed to admit that I was completely ignorant to the fact that the vast majority of wet nurses during the 19th century in the US were enslaved. My grandmother had a wet nurse in the early 20th century who was german and not enslaved and I think in the back my of mind that that influenced my view of wet nurses. I saw it as something beautiful and noble.. which it *can* be, but certainly not for the many, many women who were forced to leave their own babies in order to love and care for a baby who was not their own. A baby who would some day grow up never to acknowledge what these women truly did for them. I would love for wet nurses to come back, but I think it's also very important that we learn the history behind them and acknowledge their suffering.

According to these new comments, it seems most people had NO IDEA black women in the United States of America were forced into slavery and forced to be wet nurses.  And people wonder why we have Black History Month!

Thank You Daddy!

Thank you for always supporting me as a breastfeeding mother, helping me build the confidence to nurse in public without shame, being there to help calm baby down as we weaned, washing my pump parts as I returned to work, and so so so much more.  I could not have made it this far in my breastfeeding journey without you!  Happy Fathers Day to my deal loving husband, I love you!

Our Weaning Journey

So this weekend we are about to celebrate 2 weekes of weaning!  Our baby is 22 months and I say we because this has truly been a join effort.  I have to give major props to my husband, because I know this would not be possible without his involvement.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I received mixed messages from the medical community regarding breastfeeding while pregnant.  The nurses told me I should stop because it could cause me to go into early labor, and my OBGYN said it was fine, but I would want to stop for my own sanity.  I didn't want to hear either of their voices because initially I felt fine nursing while pregnant.  But then the pain got worse.  And worse.  It felt like every time she latched she was bitting harder, but she was not, it was just that my breast were getting more sensitive.

I tried to start telling LO, no more nursing, and she would kick and scream and cry and throw a fit!  I tried to distract her with other activities, toys or a drink but she was not having it.  I tried rocking her to sleep and night and sometimes that worked, but then the next night it wouldn't.  So I would give in and nurse.  My darling husband, would tell me I had to be strong if I wanted to really wean her.  He has always been supportive of me breastfeeding from day 1, and never told me when we should wean, but he saw how much agony I was in every night.  We would be off again on again, weaning for a few days then nursing again.  I was not ready yet so we kept nursing.

Weeks later I realized I wasn't producing any milk.  I am not sure when my milk actually dried up, and I was in denial at first, but I tested it many times, and sho nuff, my milk was gone!  This caused another set of emotions to rise within me, which I will blog about later.  But once I realized the little one was dry nursing, I was even more encouraged to wean.  However this time, I took off night duty.

I discussed with my husband how I could not do this on my own and he had to put our baby to sleep at night, and he gladly took on this responsibility.  He put on some nature sounds, rocked her, and sometimes gave her a bottle of coconut milk, and I would leave the room until she fell asleep.  A couple of nights the hubby has been busy with work and she kinda just fell asleep on her own.  What a blessing, this felt like a miracle!

She still asks to nurse at night and during the day, but now she doesn't kick or scream when I say no or try to distract her with something else, she just moves on.  I keep thinking one day she will forget about nursing, but I don't think that will be soon.  This weekend will mark two whole weeks and this is the longest stretch by far we have ever gone without the boob!  I am proud of us, and feel blessed that the transition has been going smoothly.  Hallelujah!

Jada Pinkett Smith and Breastfeeding

Jada just became my favorite breastfeeding celebrity.  Not a fan of the kids music but hey, its all good.  Recently she was quoted as saying this about nursing: 


“When I’m with my kids I’m creating but I’m still a mom. I don’t wear two different hats. My kids have always been on the set with me. I was breastfeeding on set. None of my kids would take a bottle so they could not leave my side for a very long time.”


Sounds a little like her own very version of what some are calling "attachment parenting" to me.  I love it.  

And back when she was pregnant with Willow she was also outspoken about nursing.  When asked how long she nursed Jaden she said this: 


"A good 18 months. That baby never even saw a bottle. He went everywhere with me — premieres, award shows. I would just find a back room and hook him up."

Yes it would have been nice if she didn't have to find a "back room" and promoted nursing in public but hey, I'm still impresed!  Not only is she a beautiful black woman with a great career and powerhouse family, she nursed into toddlerhood and was able to manage career and motherhood with exclusive breastfeeding.  Go head mama!  I'm a fan!

30 Rock "You LOVED Breastfeeding"

Just wanted to share, thought this was hilarious!

Beautiful Breastfeeding Art

Wordless Wednesdays

Artist: Erin Currier

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Breastmilk Ice Cream

We made it! 1 year of nursing, pumping, hand expressing, bottle feeding breastmilk, teaching family how to thaw out and handle breastmilk, figuring out how to nurse in public, learning how to nurse in public without a cover, dealing questions, comments, weird looks, etc. We made it! And honey, we ain't dont yet!

To celebrate, I wanted to do something special, so I decided to use some pumped breastmilk and make some ice cream!


I used 100% organic ingredients

7oz of organic breastmilk :-)
1 tablespoon of raw sugar
1/2 teaspoon of vanilla

I added the sugar and vanilla to a bottle of cold breastmilk and shook it up to mix the ingredients, then I added it to the frozen bowl of the ice cream maker.

I then tured the ice cream maker on and let it churn for about 10 minutes, and well it didn't quite look like "ice cream"  so I put it in the freezer and later on gave a little to my little one.  Of course she loved it!  The consistency was just that of frozen breastmilk. I would like to get better at making ice cream, so if any breastfeeding mamas out there have had success and want to share tips please do :-) Either way my little one enjoyed this treat as a celebration of a year of breastfeeding!

Star Jones and the Today Show crew

"We understand that breastfeeding is natural and feeding a child is the most natural thing." Star Jones

So over a month after the incident with Afrykayn Moon and the Detroit Smart Bus driver   the Today Show decided to adress the topic with Donny Deutsch, Dr. Nancy Snyderman and Star Jones.  

Summary: Dr. Snyderman starts off defending nursing in public, the host, Savannah Guthrie quickly turns the conversation around comparing breastfeeding to using the restroom!  Then come Star Jones with her "Happy Meal" comment, and we end with Deutsch closing the conversation because he wasn't breastfed.

Our society is not geard to embrace what's "natural."  Jones stated that breastfeeding is natural, but condemns a mom for breastfeeding if her child can ask for a Happy Meal (a very un-natural meal).  Um excuse me, I'd rather have my child ask for breastmilk than for a Happy Meal.  But that is what our society has come to, we would rather have kids ask for junk with a toy, than for immune boosting, vitamin rich milk.  


Deutsch also expresses his discomfort with his 8 year old daughter seeing breastfeeding because he may have to explain to her the "natural" use for breasts.  I hope he also blocks her from watching TV shows like Glee and anything MTV, because those shows are far worse for a little girl to be exposed to than a breastfeeding mother.


I  do not understand why some people are so bothered by the act of breastfeeding.  I think we as a nation have a lot of soul searching to do.  We are very uncomfortable with what is natural, but find normalcy in distortion of food, bodies and life.

My favorite Breastfeeding things...

Ok so I was listening to the Diana Ross version of "My Favorite Things" and I started thinking about my favorite "breastfeeding" things.  Here is my list, not in any order:

1. Medela's Ice Pack--I have used others but this ice pack keeps my milk fresh for the longest period of time.
2. Motherlove's Nipple Cream--Soft and smooth, and full of good organic ingredients.
3. Medela's bottle caps (the one's with dates)--Oh yes!  I was so thorough with that masking tape, these things are so much more convenient! I LOVE them, for reals........for relas for reals!
4. Simple Wishes Hands Free Pumping Bra--OMG, this is one of those things like once you go hands free, you just DONT go back!  Why didn't my lactation consultant tell me about this?  Thank you internet.  If you don't know you betta ask somebody.
5. Boppy--I love this pillow, the best thing to nurse with.
6. Earth Mama Booby Tubes--When I can't take a hot shower, I love putting these things in my bra to help the flow while pumping.
7. Mother's Milk Tea--Oh yea, I drink a pot of this at night with 7 bags brewing, add some honey, and go to sleep.  In the morning......MILK time!  Pumping on 1 boob, nursing on the other :-) 
8. Nursing Sleepy Bra--T-shirt comfort, I love it!

Happy Father's Day

This Fathers day I want to give a shot out to my dear husband, a handsome, sexy, loving man who has been so supporting of breastfeeding.  He makes sure he washes all of my pump parts before we go to bed and helps me pack my pump bag in the morning.  He gently reminds me to pump when I am tired.  He encourages me to nurse in public!  He is very supportive of me nursing anywhere and is always there to comfort me when I feel insecure.  Also he was the first to enforce the policy that we not bring bottles for our baby if I am present to nurse.  He makes funny jokes about how our LO makes backflips while nursing and he jokingly but confidently lets people know that out LO may nurse as long as she wants.  Happy Fathers day to a loving husband who is an awesome supporter of breastfeeding. I love you baby!

Breastfeeding on Community

So I just wanted to give a shot out to one of my favorite TV shows for the breastfeeding/pumping references on this past weeks episodes.

 I actually missed the first reference until I re-watched it! Last week Shirley had her baby, and now she is pumping. Enjoy!




I know the feeling of being somewhere and wanting to hurry up and get things done because I had to PUMP!

A little of my history

I remember the first bottle of Similac I received in the mail while pregnant.  I looked at it sideways and wondered how they got my address.  Immediately I wanted to discard it because I knew I wasn’t going to give my baby any of that stuff.  I asked my sister if she had any friends who had babies who would use it and it was gone the same day it arrived.

Fast forward to the day I gave birth in the hospital: It was beautiful, my daughter was born, nurses asked me if I wanted to have skin to skin contact, I said yes.  They asked me if I wanted to breastfeed, I said yes.  She nursed for the first time minutes after I gave birth and I felt so good.  The next couple of days in the hospital she continued to nurse but one nurse offered a bottle and said the doctor recommended it.  No other explanation was given as to why or what doctor recommended it so I refused it and it just sat on a table in our room.  Breastfeeding for some reason didn’t hurt while I was in the hospital, it could have been because I was on Motrin and Vicodin round the clock, or because nearly every time she latched there was a nurse present to help with positioning her mouth and body. At that point thought breastfeeding was going to be a breeze.

However the night I was discharged it started to be painful.  Initially I thought I could endure the pain, and just switch breast each time, but the pain got worse, till one time I was crying asking for my husband to go to the store in the middle of the night and buy some formula.  I didn’t know what to do.  I desperately wanted the pain to go away but I didn’t want to give my daughter any artificial milk either.  I tried to hand express some milk into a bottle and I was able to squirt out maybe half an ounce at most.  She drank that but obviously it wasn’t enough.  I began to supplement, but only for a while I thought. 

The next morning we went to see the pediatrician and found out our daughter had newborn jaundice.  The doctor recommended we supplement.  I had already begun supplementing, but it broke my heart to hear a doctor recommend it.  I felt like I had failed so soon.  She was only a few days old and she had lost too much weight.   We then went to see the lactation consultant who told us to follow the doctor’s recommendations but to also start pumping and give her breastmilk via the bottle.  This is when I learned I had flat nipples.  The LC handed me some nipple shields but did not show me how to use them.  The only thing she did show me how to do was to use both the hospital electric pump and the manual pump she gave me.  I pumped 4 ounces in her office and felt good at the time because this was the first time I saw my milk come out so fast.  We fed my LO breastmilk in the office and went on our way. 

That night I sent my husband to the store to buy a double electric pump and I began pumping almost exclusively.  I was pumping every two hours and giving maybe one or two bottles of formula a day for about a week or so, then from there on out we were only using breastmilk.  I would try to get her latched on at least once a day, then twice a day, till we were about half and half with pumping and nursing.  I did the thing where you open the baby’s mouth so they can latch, I also had to pull my nipple out manually and sometimes with the latch assist so that she could feel the nipple.  It took a lot of patience and repeated practice but eventually we got to a point where around 4 months we were exclusively nursing, with the exception of when the hubby and I had a date.  Then at 5 1/2 months I returned to work and began pumping again.  

Now here we are at 9 months and I feel blessed.  

Teeth

Church. Ugh. Reason 12,902,834,294,892,348 I stopped going: the people. So today for the first time I attended church with my 8 month old daughter. I sat in the back so if she started to make noise for any reason, daddy or I could step out and not disturb the sermon. We spent most of the service in the lobby listening to the sermon because my daughter wanted to preach with the pastor. Things were going great and service let out. Now because I haven’t been to church in a long time I don’t know most of the people and of course everyone’s attention is on the new baby in the church. This one lady who I don’t really know, but have seen before approached me and said, “Oh I see her teeth coming in, your not still nursing are you?”

PAUSE

Who the hell are you? I don’t know you! What makes you think that’s an okay thing to say to me? First of all how do you even know I nursed at all? I was shocked and taken back.

“I am still nursing.” I politely replied.
“Well when she gets those top two teeth in you’ll stop, they bite you know.” She continued.
“Well every baby is different and she doesn’t bite.” I replied, then walked away.


Ugh! It has been bothering me since it happened hours ago, and all I can think is this is just a taste of what is to come. It seems that among black women, the sign that you are supposed to stop is the teeth, I don’t know how many times I have heard, “Oh when they get teeth…..” I had been so fearful of the day my baby would grow some teeth, but when they came in I honestly didn’t notice them.

When I first decided to breastfeed I had no idea how long I wanted to do it for, it never really crossed my mind as to what was or wasn’t appropriate. My husband and I attended the hospitals classes and they recommended the 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding followed by at least 1 year of breastfeeding with solids. I figured I would do that and that was sufficient. But lo and behold I got a buzz of the online breastfeeding community! I started reading about real moms who were proudly nursing ay 2, 3, and even 4 years old. All this made me begin to rethink my nursing goals.

My husband has been very supportive of breastfeeding so far but whenever I ask him about when to stop he is vague. To tell you the truth I don’t even know when I want to stop. I can’t even say I will let my child decide because there may come a time when I am just done with it. On the other hand I would like to let her be the guide.

In the Beginning...

Growing up I always knew my breast were different.  Looking at my mothers breast and other women in the locker room told me that my girls marched to a different tune.  However, I never talked about it to anyone and never really thought it was a big deal.  I just figured, hey my boobs are unique.  

It was 3 days after the birth of my first child, when I walked into the office of my Lactation Consultant.  I lifted my shirt as my husband held our baby, then the Lactation Consultant looked at my breast and said, “You got, FLAT NIPPLES and you’re engorged.”  My heart dropped as if I had been diagnosed with some terrible disease.  

She then went on to get the Medela Symphony pump, hooked me up to it  and watched as my liqid gold droped into each bottle.  “Wow,” my husband said as  he was impressed as the milk came in.  She then went on to bottle fed my baby 2oz of my breastmilk, and told me to take the other 2oz home.  

At the time I felt like it was a positive meeting: I was feeding my daughter breastmilk as opposed to formula.  But later on I realized that she wasn’t helping me all that much.  She never actually taught me how to BreastFEED my child with my flat nipples.  She handed me some nipple shields, that she didn’t show me how to use, and sent me home with several pump part accessories and a manual Medela Lactina pump which was too much manual for me to use.  I eventually figured it out with lots of trial and error and online research, thanks youtube!

This is my story and the beginning of my journey as I progress along as a mommy with FLAT NIPPLES.